image of love

I have often wondered about the image and reality of love. Not just between two romantically inclined people, but also between any two people, be it between mother and son, siblings, friends, or even strangers. I stumbled across this quote recently and it has made me think about the relationships I have in my life. “You can never stop loving someone, you either love them forever, or you never loved them.” I wonder how many times I have thought that I loved a person, and looking back on the relationship realize that I don’t love them.

Having left my high school friends just over two months ago, I can still remember saying good-bye on the last few nights (as I’m sure most of you did), before I left, knowing that our lives were never going to be the same. I remember telling many of my friends that I love them and promising not to forget them, but that quote makes me question whether I loved the people, or if I merely loved the relationship. That is where I question the image and reality of love. In the relationships we form with different people, how often do we love the relationship, but think that we love the person? We love the idea of having that person to talk to, to trust. We love the idea of hugging and kissing them, of walking down the street holding that persons hand. We love the idea that someone else loves us. But that doesn’t mean that we love that person.

For example, imagine that one of the friends you said, “I love you” to when you were leaving for college turns out to be a person completely different from what you thought they were. For the sake of argument imagine they turned out to be a serial killer or a rapist. This is the person that you said you loved, but if that person is so radically different from what you thought they were, it is hard to argue that you loved the person, not only the relationship, because you never really knew the person.
I wonder how many people I really love, and how many people I merely love the idea of.




Written for my Best Friend, after the Death of an Acquaintance

Remember me
Long after the sands of time have washed away our memory
And the lips have blown our souls apart
There’s no need to remember the nights we spent together
But please remember me

When someone asks if anyone ever loved you?
And accepted you for who you really are?
Please remember that I will always love you
And no matter what, I will never be to far

And when I’m gone, please remember
Not to shed a tear for me
Just because you cant see my body
Don’t think that my souls not right there next to you

I’ll tell God that I can’t go into heaven,
With out my family and my friends
Then I’ll pull some strings
And I’ll try and get you in

But all that time, I hope you remember
Even when you’re old
And your hair is gray
Even when you can’t remember
What you ate for dinner
I just want you to remember me.