Why does it matter?

The majority of the blogs I have read from this class deal with the idea of image and reality. We have all been giving examples of things that appear to be one thing but are really another. We are concerned with what appears real and what is real. But why do we bother with trying to discern what is real and what isn't. How am I affected by someone thinking that I'm on a date rather then just going out to eat with a friend. In some sense my reality is that some people think my friend are dating, just like Jordans reality is that people judge her as irresponsible just because she has two sons. Our image affects our realities so why does it matter what is actually real and what isn't real because the people making the judgements based on our image don't care.

Sometimes the way something appears is better then what it really is. There is no harm and letting that image persist as long as it doesn't cause harm to someone. We let children believe in Santa Clause even though he isn't real because it gives them hope and makes them happy. There is nothing wrong with that, and there is no advantage to be gained by explaining to them that Santa is real. Santa is real to them.

Image and Reality become tied together, but why is it so important that we separate them?

Ms. O'Connor

This is a picture of my date and myself from the day of my senior prom. We must have made a great couple because all my friends at the prom kept coming up to me and telling me what a great girlfriend I had and how lucky I was (I went to an all guys school, so very few people had met her before). But that's not my girlfriend, she's my best friend. She and I have been best friends since we started high school so we've gotten pretty used to people telling us what a great couple we make. My parents actually thought we were dating until my junior year. 

When ever people saw us together in public they just assumed we were dating. We did very little to create that image of our selves, I never bought her presents or kissed her and the only time  I ever put my arm around her was when we were making fun of the people try to walk with their arms around each other and end up looking uncomfortable and foolish. What we looked like and what we were were very different things. People saw us and imagined that we were a couple, and we did all the things that couple do (like kiss and celebrate anniversaries) but in reality we could not have had a less romantic relationship. We didn't let what people thought we were affect what we really were. Our image was not our reality. 

P.S. I know how stunning I look so you don't need to comment on that. 

bad things for good reasons

Hey gang,
I left off the last post saying that you can’t love someone if you never really knew him or her, and that you only love the relationship you had with that person. I stated that if someone you thought you loved turned out to be someone completely different then you never actually knew them, there for you couldn’t have loved them. But good people do bad things all the time. People that I love do bad things.
So what if someone one you know you love does a bad thing but they do it with good intentions? Does a persons intentions affect the reality of their actions? I argue that a persons actions are affected by their intentions, so even if a person you love does a terrible thing, it does not mean that you don’t know them. Even though everyone else does not think that person is a good person, or that they deserve your love, I believe that you can still love them.
For example in the novel To Kill a Mockingbird society views Boo Radley in a negative light. Very little is known about him, but people create rumors that portray him to be a dangerous person. Towards the end of the novel Radley commits a murder, which would seem to confirm societies suspicions that he is dangerous, but he commits the murder to protect two children because the man he kills had been attacking them. This shows that if a person appears to be a bad person, and even commits acts that seem terrible, the person can still be a good person in reality.
Until next time, keep on keeping on.

image of love

I have often wondered about the image and reality of love. Not just between two romantically inclined people, but also between any two people, be it between mother and son, siblings, friends, or even strangers. I stumbled across this quote recently and it has made me think about the relationships I have in my life. “You can never stop loving someone, you either love them forever, or you never loved them.” I wonder how many times I have thought that I loved a person, and looking back on the relationship realize that I don’t love them.

Having left my high school friends just over two months ago, I can still remember saying good-bye on the last few nights (as I’m sure most of you did), before I left, knowing that our lives were never going to be the same. I remember telling many of my friends that I love them and promising not to forget them, but that quote makes me question whether I loved the people, or if I merely loved the relationship. That is where I question the image and reality of love. In the relationships we form with different people, how often do we love the relationship, but think that we love the person? We love the idea of having that person to talk to, to trust. We love the idea of hugging and kissing them, of walking down the street holding that persons hand. We love the idea that someone else loves us. But that doesn’t mean that we love that person.

For example, imagine that one of the friends you said, “I love you” to when you were leaving for college turns out to be a person completely different from what you thought they were. For the sake of argument imagine they turned out to be a serial killer or a rapist. This is the person that you said you loved, but if that person is so radically different from what you thought they were, it is hard to argue that you loved the person, not only the relationship, because you never really knew the person.
I wonder how many people I really love, and how many people I merely love the idea of.




Written for my Best Friend, after the Death of an Acquaintance

Remember me
Long after the sands of time have washed away our memory
And the lips have blown our souls apart
There’s no need to remember the nights we spent together
But please remember me

When someone asks if anyone ever loved you?
And accepted you for who you really are?
Please remember that I will always love you
And no matter what, I will never be to far

And when I’m gone, please remember
Not to shed a tear for me
Just because you cant see my body
Don’t think that my souls not right there next to you

I’ll tell God that I can’t go into heaven,
With out my family and my friends
Then I’ll pull some strings
And I’ll try and get you in

But all that time, I hope you remember
Even when you’re old
And your hair is gray
Even when you can’t remember
What you ate for dinner
I just want you to remember me.